


Flicker Out

by TwinVax



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Backstory, Episode Spoilers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, caleb's backstory, pre stream, really bad shit happens to caleb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 09:03:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15288162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwinVax/pseuds/TwinVax
Summary: Caleb was confident in his ability to complete his last test and take out the threat his parents posed to the Empire, the final proof of his loyalty to wildemount and to Master Ikithon that he needed to graduate from the Academy.Caleb kills his parents.





	Flicker Out

Caleb was confident in his ability to complete his last test and take out the threat his parents posed to the Empire, the final proof of his loyalty to wildemount and to Master Ikithon that he needed to graduate from the Academy.

It only took a few days for him to travel back to the town with the other two, Trent generous enough to drive the horse carriage most of the way before trusting Astrid with it.

Trent talked to them as he rode, telling them the plan and letting them choose their method of punishment for the dissenters. He’d planned to be there by day break, and said that Eodwulf would go first, then Astrid.

Caleb had the honor of going last. Trent knew his methods and his strong suit well enough to know his would leave a lasting impression on anyone else who dared to go against the empire.

It made Caleb proud. Astrid and Eodwulf were impressive, but he knew his own abilities were better then any knife or poison. A wizard was always appreciated.

There was some sort of delay on the road that made them arrive in the late afternoon instead of dawn. Trent wasn't usually wrong, making the delay slightly more confusing to Caleb then it would have been otherwise. Something about the carriage wheel coming off and needing to be fixed, he didn’t remember such a thing, though he probably was sleeping during that. His teacher said it didn't matter, that it would work out better in the long run anyway.

Astrid got punished for making them late regardless. It was only fair.

It was nearly one in the afternoon when they reached the outskirts of Blumenthal, and only took a few minutes more to reach Eodwulf’s house. They stood outside it for what Caleb knew was a bit over five minutes before Trent crossed his arms, nodding slightly as he finished his observation of it, and waved his hand towards it. Dismissive of its humble nature while still showing the disdain Caleb knew it deserved for housing enemies to the Empire. “We don’t have all day, get on with it and destroy the targets.”

Eodwulf approached the front door and turned back, smiling over at Caleb, “come in with me, Caleb.” he said.

“This is your test, not mine.”

“I only need you to stand close by, be my witness to the cleaning of the Empire, thats all the help I'll need. Don’t worry.” he assured.

Caleb looked over at Trent for approval, seeing he had been watching the two the whole time. They met eyes and Trent frowned, an almost imperceptible shake of his head, “No. These are individual tests, you cannot help each other. There’s no need for anyone but you, Eodwulf, to deal with them, or do you require someone to hold your hand along the way?” he asked, voice dangerous as his eyes snapped from Caleb’s to the other boys’.

He shook his head immediately, standing straight at the gaze, “No, sir. I’ll return in a few minutes.” he turned and quickly opened his door his body immediately slipping into the building with barely any sound.

Caleb watched the door as he waited, Astrid stood calmly beside him, eyes half closed as though this bored her. It probably did, Caleb knew how much Astrid loved to actively be involved in punishing the enemies of the empire. He’d grown so close to her since they had all started learning together, and he knew not being able to help probably felt like torture for her, and his heart went out to her for that. It was a test of patience for her, something the both of them were fortunate that Master Ikithon allowed them to be learning.

She turned when she noticed his eye on her, smiling slightly when she leaned in close, “Five copper says they’re trying to lie their way out of punishment.” she whispered, breath brushing against Caleb’s skin as she moved back.

“That’s hardly a bet when it happens all the time, but sure, five copper.” Caleb agreed, smiling back at her, immediately ready and willing to hand the coin over when her prediction came to be true. Like it usually was in these cases.

Caleb looked back when he saw movement from the door, Eodwulf striding out and back to them confidently. “Their taken care of, Master Ikithon.” he reported, glancing down and away as soon as Trent nodded his approval, the flash of metal quick in the light of the afternoon as he stashed his weapon back in it’s hiding place. He looked back up quickly at the two of them, Caleb knowing he could read the gleeful expression on Astrid’s face from all past bets, and nodded to her.

While Master Ikithon walked ahead of them, wasting no more time in being near the house, Caleb handed her the coppers. She smiled and kissed his cheek, running off a moment later to lead them to her house.

Her home was across the village from Eodwulf’s, so that by the time they had walked there it was already near the time she said her parents usually prepared supper. Trent was annoyed, but when her parents came out and invited them in for a meal, he happily accepted for the three of them.

“I do have some business to do at the moment, but I’ll return soon. Eat for a while without me, it won’t take more than a few minutes for me to tie our horses.” Master Ikithon said pleasantly, voice like honey to the couple, putting them at ease. Caleb knew it was as much an order to them as it was a lie to them. That he wanted Astrid to deal with them herself, even with the annoyance of all of them being invited in, and had left the horses far away as an excuse in case of such an occurrence.

Trent left with one last glance towards them, a silent warning to the boys to leave her to her work and not get in the way, and then she pulled the two aside as the food was being finished, “Don’t eat the pork. I poisoned it while they were talking to Trent.” she warned.

Dinner moved quickly after that. They talked and they ate, and when the poison ran its course, they watched the two collapse into their food as they choked and the false words in their hearts died with them. Astrid checked their pulses, smiled, and sat back down to finish her dinner with Eodwulf. Caleb stared at the scene, the image already committed to his memory, and felt disgust rise in his stomach, but remained silent and ate until his plate was clean and Trent finally came back in to see the results.

He checked for a pulse and lifted their heads out of their meats, looking them over impassively before he nodded his approval, moving away from the table, “Very good. Now it’s time for your test, Caleb. Lead the way, boy.”

 

* * *

 

 

They arrived at his home at night. The walk Caleb didn't much remember, but what mattered was that he stood in front of the house he used to call home. Where his parents had let slip their words of betrayal that could only be reversed with their end. 

He pushed their cart, the one they used to travel to market once a week, to the front door. He did it alone, the others standing back to watch his test. Master Trent's sharp eyes on him proud and cold as he kept his distance, hands behind his back, while Caleb finished his preparations. 

Everything was silent, this late at night. Somber in a way Caleb figured the world must know his destiny had arrived, that he would succeed and be great like everyone expected. 

Astrid touched his shoulder once he finished placing the cart, and she smiled when he turned to face her, leaning in to kiss his cheek with a wink before she carefully moved back. Out of the way from where she knew the damage would be. Away from his dangerous magic, "Get going, so we can go back home." she said. Her voice was far away, like it was under water, but Caleb didn't notice. 

He set the cart on fire, watching the flames as they licked up the sides, consuming the wood and anything left inside. The house caught soon after, flames quickly climbing the walls until it was completely aflame. A bright candle in the night. 

Quiet, then the unmistakable sound of screaming the four of them were used to hearing. Anguished cries from those trapped by flames. 

His parents. 

He quietly watched the flames grow more dangerous as it fully encapsulated the house, for two minutes. He watched and he listened, his mind under fog. 

The screams became suddenly louder, something in his mind snapping as he stared at the fire with new eyes. His mind free of the fog or the haze as he stared in horror of what he had done by his own hand. 

He stared at what he had done, and he was sure he had joined the screaming, before his mind went dark and he saw nothing. 

 

* * *

 

Caleb opened his eyes, blinking in the darkness as the memory woke him to the bedroom and a hand on his arm.

Notts eyes glowed golden in the dark. A safer glow then the one in his nightmare of a memory. Enough he could see her worry, the softness in how she looked at him still despite her knowing.

The blankets shifted as she moved closer, pulling him into a hug that he didn't fight nor return. She wrapped herself around him, arms around his neck in a loose hold, a weight he hadn't thought would be comfortable, chin rested on his shoulder as she whispered, “Its not your fault, Caleb.” she repeated, softly as she moved back.

She leaned up and kissed his forehead the way he had done before in the basement, looked him in the eye for a second before the glow turned away, down at the lush comfortable blankets, “It’s not your fault.” she said, lying down with her head on the pillow instead of going back to her preferred place at the end of the bed.

A silent offering.

He lied back down beside her, noticing the glow of her eye as she watched, and nodded slightly, accepting the offer.

She shuffled slightly until her back was against his front, a warm reminder of where he is. A frequent comfort offered to fight against his nightmares in the past before meeting the group.

The glow from her eyes went away as she fell asleep like that, back to front with the bit of contact Caleb was comfortable with, and he knew he didn't deserve her.

He didn't deserve her friendship, or Beauregard's, but he would never turn it away.

He fell asleep, Nott’s voice fresh in his mind and an arm wrapped around her to bring her closer against him, finding comfort in the position and way it kept him grounded to the present. Content his friend still let him have such comforts.

He slept, and didn’t dream again that night of anything but the gentle glow of a harmless fire.

**Author's Note:**

> Late, but I'd been writing it for a couple weeks. I wanted to get it finished so here it is. Some angst and comfort in this time.


End file.
